odetcyou:

philosophium:

wymack:

kandreil au where they meet at a grocery store

kevin is buying ten pounds of chicken and protein powder, andrew is buying ten pounds of candy, and neil is buying ten pounds of random shit because he doesn’t know how to make a decent meal. they all roll their shopping carts up to the register at the same time, look at the other’s carts with contempt, and battle for the spot in line.

this becomes a regular occurrence and the cashiers are confused when one day they all come in together and use the same cart.

what happened was one day Kevin approached Andrew like “You know that shit is going to kill you, right?” and Neil is mocking Kevin for all of his fucking healthy food: “there’s no fruit in that cart wtf bro.” Andrew casually pulls out a cigarette and Kevin loses his mind. meanwhile Neil, the poor bab, is staring at the cigarette, so Andrew offers him one but doesn’t smoke it, which perks Andrew’s interest. Kevin is standing there with his mouth open, unable to understand why anyone would willingly be so unhealthy. Neil thinks Kevin’s… we’ll call it “passion”… is really cute so he just sort of gives a dopey smile. neither Andrew nor Kevin can resists Neil’s level of Cute™, so meeting in the parking lot after they shop becomes a thing and eventually they’re going for coffee or something and then pretty soon they’re living together because why not

Hear me out, its been a few months. The cashiers have just kinda gotten use to it. They still don’t really understand what happened and so they’re just bemused. It’s workplace folklore. These three dudes. Even before the whole thing, the staff already knew about them. 

The tall one was really intense about his chicken. His protein powder too. He would go up to a worker and ask questions about it. Not normal questions either. “Do you have any other protein powder. all your s have propylene glycol as a preservative. do you know how bad that is for you….” All his questions are very educational. The staff learn a lot. Mostly that this dude is really intense about protein. He has a permanent place in staff room chats.

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